Ian MacArthur

Cory is mad at me. it's very hard to know who to blame right now. i was reading my book (the one im  obviously obsessed with) and a question comes to mind about his old friend that i don't like very much. Sharron.  but because i want to spare the details right now, im just going to explain the moment of now. the main idea is that i get very jealous of her because she was never dating him and they made out a couple times, and one of them was while he was helping me with Mick and Cory told me that he liked me but them made out with Sharron. Sharron also made a promise with him to have them both lose their virginity to each other when she turned 18 (selfish in my opinion). and he agreed. and i changed that. i sometimes wish i hadn't tho.
anyways, he used to go over to her house a lot. at the most he said 15 times, but im sure it was more. i would like to think that when he went over there, it was like when i would go over to Mitch's house. Mitch and i used to have a lot of fun. we'd either go swimming in his pool, show each other funny videos on youtube, play nerf wars (it was either against each other, laughing hysterically, or we'd teem up against his grandpa - which, by the way, he lives with them), or we would play with his aunt's little puppy, Piper. (pronounced pie-per) and i used its real name too. we are, or were like brother and sister. but im not so sure about Cory and Sharron.
when Cory and i weren't dating and i was friends with Sharron and never talked to Cory, i actually started to believe that they looked cute together. i know that he would get very mad if i say it to him, but i still think they would look better together than him and i. i don't really look good with anyone. im just sort of independent. but i have to believe theres someone out there for me.
so im reading my book and i ask Cory, "what do you think when you look back on being friends with [Sharron]?"
i made sure to be careful of what i wished for, or what i asked for. i can live without knowing of times they spent together, because as much as he denys it, they weren't all bad. not all "15".
he started talking about one of the times he helped "winter-ize" her pool. this got me mad i think because 1: it wasn't answering what i had asked for. he answered what i was trying to avoid. and 2: like i said, i have a problem with being possessive and i didn't like that he was almost becoming part of her family by helping with something that either she or her father should have done.
then there was a moment of silence. i didn't want to get mad, though my anxiety was rising. i just said nothing.
then i heard an angry "What?!" from his end of the line. (btw we were on the phone)
"...well that didn't really answer my question..."
Cory then said, "I'm sorry. then what were you asking?"
"i just asked what do you think when you think back to when you were friends with her. like, for instance, when i think about [Kaitlyn] i miss her." (...i wanted to leave that part out on here but i decided to type it anyways)
"Oh, well. i hate her."
this hurt me even more than the memory that Cory instantly remembered. because i knew that this comment meant that she hurt him and he wasn't over it. i know this because this is what i have done, and this is what he has done for many years.
we sat on the phone for a little longer, as i read sightly. normally i made expressions when reading good parts. heres one of my favorites that i just read!

... so I sat down and tried to write a story.
"Ian MacArthur is a wonderful sweet fellow who wears glasses and peers out of them with delight."
That was the first sentence. The problem was that I just couldn't think of the next one. After cleaning my room three times, I decided to leave Ian alone for a while because I was starting to get mad at him. (166 The Perks of Being A Wallflower)

this just made me smile. this made me so happy that i broke the awkward silence on the line and laughed into my covers. Cory then said "why are you so mad?!" in a very agitated and negative tone.
i didn't feel like i was doing anything wrong. i was controlling myself very well actually.
he ended up telling me to finish reading my book and then call him back. i agreed.
ten he asked if i was going to call him back and i said, "Probably not."
then he said "whatever. goodnight. bye."
he didn't hang up, but i did.
he called again while i typed - Cory then said, "I'm sorry. then what were you asking?" - higher up on this post. and he is calling again now. i don't think i'll pick up. maybe if he leaves a nice voice mail. i just don't know...
-anastasiaphilips

he left a voice mail. it wasn't nice at all.