so i've come to the conclusion that the MTV show My Life As Liz is totally fake. i find it kind of ridiculous too.. i think that liz lee asks too much for people to pity her when she hasn't really has n e thing happen to her. she's just a rich asshole that gets everything she wants! this site really explains it... not to say that n e one HAS to believe it, but i do. i may live in Wisconsin... which is no place close to Texas, but either way, its the real world, not Liz's...
The Truth about Liz Lee
fully logical.
she is a real person... well... maybe not real... but she exists. she wrote, (and i quote!) "What you see on TV is what you get"
fine by me if YOU believe EVERYTHING ur told. i choose logic... sorry:)
-anastasiaphilips^^)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
i finished the book
I believe that in the book Perks of Being A Wallflower, Charlie had access to positive role-models from his English teacher, to his sister. Though his sister may not be fully stable because of her decision of getting an abortion, she still encourages Charlie to stop smoking. She also always tells Charlie she loves him when necessary, to help him feel his importance. Charlie's English teacher helps him by always giving him the option to ask him for help if he needs it and gives him positive encouragement as well.
The people that make decisions in the community are mainly how people chose to deal with problems. For instance, when Charlie stood up for Patrick even though their friendship was in a bit of a rough patch when Patrick was getting harassed by his ex-boyfriend Brad and all of his football buddies. They started a physical fight with Patrick, five on one, so Charlie chose to step in a protect his friend even though physically fighting was going to get him in trouble with his principal.
Charlie decided that after he hurt one of his friends so bad that the whole group was effected that it was best to listen to Patrick when he told him to "stay clear for while until things calmed down." It was extremely difficult for Charlie because he didn't have many friends to hang around while this was happening. But Charlie gained their trust again when he stood up for Patrick.
Charlie trusts his friends when situations change and something happens. He's not gifted with living in the moment, so he doesn't know how to make well-thought out decisions for himself. The biggest decisions Charlie makes in his life are the one's that involve his feelings and when it's appropriate to choose his feelings over his friends. because he is in love with Sam, he tried extremely hard not to screw things up with her. But sometimes Charlie doesn't realize that part of having friends is not only to be a good one for them, but to depend on them sometimes, to ask and need things and to be given. He learns this late in the book when he has an epiphany. Charlie is an extremely caring person and is special to everyone who is involved with him in their lives.
Outside of response comment: I have to say that this book was extremely touching and that it is now the best book I have ever read.
this was my responce for my English class to the end of Perks of Being A Wallflower. these were the questions we had to answer:
What resources does a person or group have access to that can help in making important choices?
Who makes choices for society? What needs to be considered?
When is it more important to choose the well-being of a group over the well-being of the individual?
Who do you trust to make important choices on your behalf? Why?
What are the most important choices a person makes in his or her life?
i thought the ending of the book was completely amazing. i can't even begin to explain it. i don't even want to. normally i want to blurb everything i know to the world, but if you want to feel how i feel right now (which is insane) read. this. book. it will be the best book you ever read.
and when reading it, think to yourself if it was really the author Stephen Chbosky creating an unbelievable novel out of pure creativity, or if Charlie really was a real person who attended high school in 1992 and wrote letters to Stephen Chbosky who published all of his notes into a book in 1999. just a thought of mine.
-anastasiaphillips ^^)
The people that make decisions in the community are mainly how people chose to deal with problems. For instance, when Charlie stood up for Patrick even though their friendship was in a bit of a rough patch when Patrick was getting harassed by his ex-boyfriend Brad and all of his football buddies. They started a physical fight with Patrick, five on one, so Charlie chose to step in a protect his friend even though physically fighting was going to get him in trouble with his principal.
Charlie decided that after he hurt one of his friends so bad that the whole group was effected that it was best to listen to Patrick when he told him to "stay clear for while until things calmed down." It was extremely difficult for Charlie because he didn't have many friends to hang around while this was happening. But Charlie gained their trust again when he stood up for Patrick.
Charlie trusts his friends when situations change and something happens. He's not gifted with living in the moment, so he doesn't know how to make well-thought out decisions for himself. The biggest decisions Charlie makes in his life are the one's that involve his feelings and when it's appropriate to choose his feelings over his friends. because he is in love with Sam, he tried extremely hard not to screw things up with her. But sometimes Charlie doesn't realize that part of having friends is not only to be a good one for them, but to depend on them sometimes, to ask and need things and to be given. He learns this late in the book when he has an epiphany. Charlie is an extremely caring person and is special to everyone who is involved with him in their lives.
Outside of response comment: I have to say that this book was extremely touching and that it is now the best book I have ever read.
this was my responce for my English class to the end of Perks of Being A Wallflower. these were the questions we had to answer:
What resources does a person or group have access to that can help in making important choices?
Who makes choices for society? What needs to be considered?
When is it more important to choose the well-being of a group over the well-being of the individual?
Who do you trust to make important choices on your behalf? Why?
What are the most important choices a person makes in his or her life?
i thought the ending of the book was completely amazing. i can't even begin to explain it. i don't even want to. normally i want to blurb everything i know to the world, but if you want to feel how i feel right now (which is insane) read. this. book. it will be the best book you ever read.
and when reading it, think to yourself if it was really the author Stephen Chbosky creating an unbelievable novel out of pure creativity, or if Charlie really was a real person who attended high school in 1992 and wrote letters to Stephen Chbosky who published all of his notes into a book in 1999. just a thought of mine.
-anastasiaphillips ^^)
Thursday, October 28, 2010
i just smiled : )
sometimes things can get so bad that you think that theres no way out. you even start telling yourself you should just give up. i did that today. this morning i mean. and last night i suppose. Cory and i ended up working out the problems, and we are going to watch a movie tonight. i am not sad. i just need some time to recognise that i am just right for him, that i am enough for him no matter what the past wants to say.
i went to target with Cory and my mom today while my little sister Evelyn was at her volleyball practice. i picked out two really nice sweaters and some shoes. one sweater is grey with thin black lines on it. it buttons together. the other sweater is black and thick. it seams to be some wort of knitting. it has nothing to tie it together in the middle, it just has loopie floppy cloth that circles around the end of the sweater in the back. they are both very comfortable. and the shoes are black ugg boats that have white-pinkish fake fur on the ankles and two little wooden beats that hand from black strings on the side. Cory saw a nice black watch that he said he wanted. i said i would buy it for his birthday that is coming up. he said no. then i teased him and said that i would buy it for myself and wear it. then he said that he wouldn't like that because he would want it. i said too bad. when my mom met up to us to buy the things and go pick up my sister, i told her that i would pay her back for the watch because it was Cory's birthday present. she agreed. i told Cory that my mom wouldn't let me get the watch.
the thing about Cory is that he buys things for me all the time, like when we bike to the gas station, or when we bike to Walgreen's, he usually buys me candy, but he doesn't like it when people buy things for him, especially not me. and you would think that his birthday and holidays would be an exception, but he refuses. he doesn't even want me to acknowledge his birthday even though he's turning 16 this year. i will anyways and hopefully he will still be happy.
something you probably do not know about me and Cory is that we met in 6th grade. i was the new girl. i started dating this guy Zach that was friends with Cory and Mitch, and thats how i know them. one day when Cory and i were working on a project, he was teasing me and i was teasing him. finally i ended up saying something like "do you want me to make your life a living hell?" as little girls do to intimidate their crushes. i think about it now, and it was really weird of me to flirt with boys that way, but i dont regret it. i think its cute. i would beet up on all the boys, and i liked being around boys verses girls because girls were weird and cliquey to me. but after i said what i did, Cory said, "No thanks. im not ready for a relationship yet." and smirked. the next day i told a lot of people that i liked him and he finally asked me out by lunch. we only dated for about a month then. i ended up going back out with that Zach kid. but when i dumped Zach on the 4th of July 2007, i called Cory and i played the guessing game with him. i said, "i know someone who likes you..." and made him guess. he guessed everyone but me and then he figured it out. we ended up meeting up at the 4th of July day fair and buried my bracelet in the sand of the playground at the park near the police station. he went with his family for the fire works and i went with mine, but when we talk about it now, we both agree that it was like we were right next to each other. but i didn't know if were dating or not until we saw Transformers in the movie theater with my dad. we held hands for the first time. him and i kept rubbing our thumbs on each other's hands to show we cared. my hands were cold and his were sweaty. but it didn't gross me out. it just showed that he really like me. i cheated though - i left my hand on the cup holder until it was cold to finally grab his hand. it was usually me making the first move.
all together in 7th grade we dated for 8 months. he never kissed me. i always told my friends to tell him to kiss me and it never really worked. but one day, i wish i could remember the day but i dont, i told Mitch to tell Cory to kiss me. we were walking out to the buses. his was usually in the back of the line of buses and mine was in the front. when we went in to hug each other like we did every day, he kissed me softly on the cheek. Kaitlyn was behind me waiting for me to say goodbye and walk to the bus together since we were on the same one. i tryed to kiss Cory, but i failed because we were already hugging and he caught me off guard. i was completely speechless. when i walked towards Kaitlyn, i had the biggest smile in the world on my face. i was glowing brighter than anyone there. and normally i can't shut up on the bus. but Kaitlyn kept asking me "What?" and laughing because i didn't say anything the whole bus ride. i just smiled.
i miss Kaitlyn a lot when i think of these moments, because i wish i could still talk to her about them and talk to someone who remembers this moment too.
-anastasiaphilips ^^)
i went to target with Cory and my mom today while my little sister Evelyn was at her volleyball practice. i picked out two really nice sweaters and some shoes. one sweater is grey with thin black lines on it. it buttons together. the other sweater is black and thick. it seams to be some wort of knitting. it has nothing to tie it together in the middle, it just has loopie floppy cloth that circles around the end of the sweater in the back. they are both very comfortable. and the shoes are black ugg boats that have white-pinkish fake fur on the ankles and two little wooden beats that hand from black strings on the side. Cory saw a nice black watch that he said he wanted. i said i would buy it for his birthday that is coming up. he said no. then i teased him and said that i would buy it for myself and wear it. then he said that he wouldn't like that because he would want it. i said too bad. when my mom met up to us to buy the things and go pick up my sister, i told her that i would pay her back for the watch because it was Cory's birthday present. she agreed. i told Cory that my mom wouldn't let me get the watch.
the thing about Cory is that he buys things for me all the time, like when we bike to the gas station, or when we bike to Walgreen's, he usually buys me candy, but he doesn't like it when people buy things for him, especially not me. and you would think that his birthday and holidays would be an exception, but he refuses. he doesn't even want me to acknowledge his birthday even though he's turning 16 this year. i will anyways and hopefully he will still be happy.
something you probably do not know about me and Cory is that we met in 6th grade. i was the new girl. i started dating this guy Zach that was friends with Cory and Mitch, and thats how i know them. one day when Cory and i were working on a project, he was teasing me and i was teasing him. finally i ended up saying something like "do you want me to make your life a living hell?" as little girls do to intimidate their crushes. i think about it now, and it was really weird of me to flirt with boys that way, but i dont regret it. i think its cute. i would beet up on all the boys, and i liked being around boys verses girls because girls were weird and cliquey to me. but after i said what i did, Cory said, "No thanks. im not ready for a relationship yet." and smirked. the next day i told a lot of people that i liked him and he finally asked me out by lunch. we only dated for about a month then. i ended up going back out with that Zach kid. but when i dumped Zach on the 4th of July 2007, i called Cory and i played the guessing game with him. i said, "i know someone who likes you..." and made him guess. he guessed everyone but me and then he figured it out. we ended up meeting up at the 4th of July day fair and buried my bracelet in the sand of the playground at the park near the police station. he went with his family for the fire works and i went with mine, but when we talk about it now, we both agree that it was like we were right next to each other. but i didn't know if were dating or not until we saw Transformers in the movie theater with my dad. we held hands for the first time. him and i kept rubbing our thumbs on each other's hands to show we cared. my hands were cold and his were sweaty. but it didn't gross me out. it just showed that he really like me. i cheated though - i left my hand on the cup holder until it was cold to finally grab his hand. it was usually me making the first move.
all together in 7th grade we dated for 8 months. he never kissed me. i always told my friends to tell him to kiss me and it never really worked. but one day, i wish i could remember the day but i dont, i told Mitch to tell Cory to kiss me. we were walking out to the buses. his was usually in the back of the line of buses and mine was in the front. when we went in to hug each other like we did every day, he kissed me softly on the cheek. Kaitlyn was behind me waiting for me to say goodbye and walk to the bus together since we were on the same one. i tryed to kiss Cory, but i failed because we were already hugging and he caught me off guard. i was completely speechless. when i walked towards Kaitlyn, i had the biggest smile in the world on my face. i was glowing brighter than anyone there. and normally i can't shut up on the bus. but Kaitlyn kept asking me "What?" and laughing because i didn't say anything the whole bus ride. i just smiled.
i miss Kaitlyn a lot when i think of these moments, because i wish i could still talk to her about them and talk to someone who remembers this moment too.
-anastasiaphilips ^^)
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Ian MacArthur
Cory is mad at me. it's very hard to know who to blame right now. i was reading my book (the one im obviously obsessed with) and a question comes to mind about his old friend that i don't like very much. Sharron. but because i want to spare the details right now, im just going to explain the moment of now. the main idea is that i get very jealous of her because she was never dating him and they made out a couple times, and one of them was while he was helping me with Mick and Cory told me that he liked me but them made out with Sharron. Sharron also made a promise with him to have them both lose their virginity to each other when she turned 18 (selfish in my opinion). and he agreed. and i changed that. i sometimes wish i hadn't tho.
anyways, he used to go over to her house a lot. at the most he said 15 times, but im sure it was more. i would like to think that when he went over there, it was like when i would go over to Mitch's house. Mitch and i used to have a lot of fun. we'd either go swimming in his pool, show each other funny videos on youtube, play nerf wars (it was either against each other, laughing hysterically, or we'd teem up against his grandpa - which, by the way, he lives with them), or we would play with his aunt's little puppy, Piper. (pronounced pie-per) and i used its real name too. we are, or were like brother and sister. but im not so sure about Cory and Sharron.
when Cory and i weren't dating and i was friends with Sharron and never talked to Cory, i actually started to believe that they looked cute together. i know that he would get very mad if i say it to him, but i still think they would look better together than him and i. i don't really look good with anyone. im just sort of independent. but i have to believe theres someone out there for me.
so im reading my book and i ask Cory, "what do you think when you look back on being friends with [Sharron]?"
i made sure to be careful of what i wished for, or what i asked for. i can live without knowing of times they spent together, because as much as he denys it, they weren't all bad. not all "15".
he started talking about one of the times he helped "winter-ize" her pool. this got me mad i think because 1: it wasn't answering what i had asked for. he answered what i was trying to avoid. and 2: like i said, i have a problem with being possessive and i didn't like that he was almost becoming part of her family by helping with something that either she or her father should have done.
then there was a moment of silence. i didn't want to get mad, though my anxiety was rising. i just said nothing.
then i heard an angry "What?!" from his end of the line. (btw we were on the phone)
"...well that didn't really answer my question..."
Cory then said, "I'm sorry. then what were you asking?"
"i just asked what do you think when you think back to when you were friends with her. like, for instance, when i think about [Kaitlyn] i miss her." (...i wanted to leave that part out on here but i decided to type it anyways)
"Oh, well. i hate her."
this hurt me even more than the memory that Cory instantly remembered. because i knew that this comment meant that she hurt him and he wasn't over it. i know this because this is what i have done, and this is what he has done for many years.
we sat on the phone for a little longer, as i read sightly. normally i made expressions when reading good parts. heres one of my favorites that i just read!
... so I sat down and tried to write a story.
"Ian MacArthur is a wonderful sweet fellow who wears glasses and peers out of them with delight."
That was the first sentence. The problem was that I just couldn't think of the next one. After cleaning my room three times, I decided to leave Ian alone for a while because I was starting to get mad at him. (166 The Perks of Being A Wallflower)
this just made me smile. this made me so happy that i broke the awkward silence on the line and laughed into my covers. Cory then said "why are you so mad?!" in a very agitated and negative tone.
i didn't feel like i was doing anything wrong. i was controlling myself very well actually.
he ended up telling me to finish reading my book and then call him back. i agreed.
ten he asked if i was going to call him back and i said, "Probably not."
then he said "whatever. goodnight. bye."
he didn't hang up, but i did.
he called again while i typed - Cory then said, "I'm sorry. then what were you asking?" - higher up on this post. and he is calling again now. i don't think i'll pick up. maybe if he leaves a nice voice mail. i just don't know...
-anastasiaphilips
he left a voice mail. it wasn't nice at all.
anyways, he used to go over to her house a lot. at the most he said 15 times, but im sure it was more. i would like to think that when he went over there, it was like when i would go over to Mitch's house. Mitch and i used to have a lot of fun. we'd either go swimming in his pool, show each other funny videos on youtube, play nerf wars (it was either against each other, laughing hysterically, or we'd teem up against his grandpa - which, by the way, he lives with them), or we would play with his aunt's little puppy, Piper. (pronounced pie-per) and i used its real name too. we are, or were like brother and sister. but im not so sure about Cory and Sharron.
when Cory and i weren't dating and i was friends with Sharron and never talked to Cory, i actually started to believe that they looked cute together. i know that he would get very mad if i say it to him, but i still think they would look better together than him and i. i don't really look good with anyone. im just sort of independent. but i have to believe theres someone out there for me.
so im reading my book and i ask Cory, "what do you think when you look back on being friends with [Sharron]?"
i made sure to be careful of what i wished for, or what i asked for. i can live without knowing of times they spent together, because as much as he denys it, they weren't all bad. not all "15".
he started talking about one of the times he helped "winter-ize" her pool. this got me mad i think because 1: it wasn't answering what i had asked for. he answered what i was trying to avoid. and 2: like i said, i have a problem with being possessive and i didn't like that he was almost becoming part of her family by helping with something that either she or her father should have done.
then there was a moment of silence. i didn't want to get mad, though my anxiety was rising. i just said nothing.
then i heard an angry "What?!" from his end of the line. (btw we were on the phone)
"...well that didn't really answer my question..."
Cory then said, "I'm sorry. then what were you asking?"
"i just asked what do you think when you think back to when you were friends with her. like, for instance, when i think about [Kaitlyn] i miss her." (...i wanted to leave that part out on here but i decided to type it anyways)
"Oh, well. i hate her."
this hurt me even more than the memory that Cory instantly remembered. because i knew that this comment meant that she hurt him and he wasn't over it. i know this because this is what i have done, and this is what he has done for many years.
we sat on the phone for a little longer, as i read sightly. normally i made expressions when reading good parts. heres one of my favorites that i just read!
... so I sat down and tried to write a story.
"Ian MacArthur is a wonderful sweet fellow who wears glasses and peers out of them with delight."
That was the first sentence. The problem was that I just couldn't think of the next one. After cleaning my room three times, I decided to leave Ian alone for a while because I was starting to get mad at him. (166 The Perks of Being A Wallflower)
this just made me smile. this made me so happy that i broke the awkward silence on the line and laughed into my covers. Cory then said "why are you so mad?!" in a very agitated and negative tone.
i didn't feel like i was doing anything wrong. i was controlling myself very well actually.
he ended up telling me to finish reading my book and then call him back. i agreed.
ten he asked if i was going to call him back and i said, "Probably not."
then he said "whatever. goodnight. bye."
he didn't hang up, but i did.
he called again while i typed - Cory then said, "I'm sorry. then what were you asking?" - higher up on this post. and he is calling again now. i don't think i'll pick up. maybe if he leaves a nice voice mail. i just don't know...
-anastasiaphilips
he left a voice mail. it wasn't nice at all.
discovery document
heres a list of some good music to drown yourself in (courtesy of The Perks of Being A Wallflower). btw: sorry for not adding links for all of theses. its tedious work searching, copying, pasting, adding. lol
My List:
Aberfeldy - Summer's Gone
Aberfeldy (Riley Briggs) - Jennifer [idk how i found it, but the acoustic/unprofessional version is the best!]
Andy McKee - Drifting [credit to Cory for showing me, but i guess it wouldn't really be giving him credit cuz thats not his real name...]
Nick Drake - Road
Noah & the Whale - 2 Atoms In A Molecule
Noah & the Whale - Second Lover
Perks of Being A Wallflower:
The Smiths - Asleep
The Beatles - Blackbird [giving credit to the book for reminding me that i have this song]
Fleetwood Mac - Landslide
The Moody Blues - Nights in White Satin
Nick Drake - Time of No Reply
Ride - Vapour Trail
check those songs out if you can. i for one take advantage of anytime to find new music. music has always sort of been my escape and my reason. if you haven't guessed already, i write music.
oh. i've decided that no one is really going to read this blog and that hopefully somehow this will be some sort of self discovery document.
well thats all for now because of the crazy amount i already wrote. *guilty smile* ^.^
-anastasiaphilips ^^)
My List:
Aberfeldy - Summer's Gone
Aberfeldy (Riley Briggs) - Jennifer [idk how i found it, but the acoustic/unprofessional version is the best!]
Andy McKee - Drifting [credit to Cory for showing me, but i guess it wouldn't really be giving him credit cuz thats not his real name...]
Nick Drake - Road
Noah & the Whale - 2 Atoms In A Molecule
Noah & the Whale - Second Lover
Perks of Being A Wallflower:
The Smiths - Asleep
The Beatles - Blackbird [giving credit to the book for reminding me that i have this song]
Fleetwood Mac - Landslide
The Moody Blues - Nights in White Satin
Nick Drake - Time of No Reply
Ride - Vapour Trail
check those songs out if you can. i for one take advantage of anytime to find new music. music has always sort of been my escape and my reason. if you haven't guessed already, i write music.
oh. i've decided that no one is really going to read this blog and that hopefully somehow this will be some sort of self discovery document.
well thats all for now because of the crazy amount i already wrote. *guilty smile* ^.^
-anastasiaphilips ^^)
some old friends
Halloween is coming up and im pretty excited for all of the tricks and treats. as of the moment theres not much on my calender for that day, but i was invited to a party. the party is going to be at this girl's house with a ton of people that are in my grade. even some seniors. but a lot of my friends are seniors, like my older sister Hayden who isnt really my older sister, she just protects me like one, and my two friends Kevin and Jordan. oh, and their friend who is a junior Austin. but my best friend that i've known since i was to young to remember is Nicole, and she's a sophomore like me, except she's in collage and im in high school. so it's not really that exciting that theres going to Seniors at the party. they like to smoke and drink a lot so i don't think i'll go.
but thats not really what im uncomfortable about. my ex-boyfriend Mick is going to be there and he's not very nice. ever since i started dating Cory, my current boyfriend of almost 7 months, or you could say almost a year and 4 months... but i'll explain that another time when i feel its necessary. anyways, ever since i started dating him, Mick has been really mean to me, and to himself. but i did sort of lie to him a lot. he was my first time (and in case you don't know what that means or you just didn't catch the hint: i had sex with him) and i cared about him. he was the first real relationship i had in about two years. Cory was my first real relationship, and that happened in 7th grade. he never kissed me then (what a nerd:p jk). when Mick and i were dating, he didn't really treat me fairly, but then again i probably didn't treat him fairly either. i get really jealous of other girls, and i became very possessive when Mick wanted to spend all our time we could together. he'd even get upset when Nicole came back from her collage (which is four hours away) if i wanted to be with her. anyways, he did something so bad that i ended up calling Cory the night it happened when i got home at 11 pm. i hadn't talked to Cory for real in 2 years, but that night i called him and cried and asked for his help and protection. he ended up helping me see that i needed to break up with Mick. Mick was gone for Christmas break, which, by the way, is when all of this took place, and i told Mick that we needed to take a break until he got back. but when he got back, i broke up with him. but then i felt lonely and betrayed when Cory stopped talking to me, so then i started answer Mick's calls that i used to ignore and we ended up secretly dating again. but then i started realizing that this wasn't right, so i ended it again. but by then, i had ended up leading Mick on a lot, and he was really depressed. when he found out that Cory and i started dating about 2 months after i ended it for good, Mick started smoking and drinking a lot. he started saying really mean things to me, making me feel worse than i already did, and when my old best friend Kaitlyn started taking his side, i was really sad.
Kaitlyn and i met the same year i met a lot of my other friends, like Cory and Mitch. Mitch is my old best guy friend. he didn't like Mick when i was dating him, but now his "two best friends" are Mick and me. i don't see how these things happen but i guess they just do. anyways, i met them all in 6th grade when i changed elementary schools. i didn't have a lot of friends at my old school, so it was really nice having people notice me. anyways, Kaitlyn and i hung out a lot because she lives in my neighborhood. by the way, i forgot to mention that Nicole lives right next door to me, except when she's in collage.
Kaitlyn and i went a lot of places together and now we never talk. i think its been about 6 months. when i started dating Cory, she was really happy for me because she knew that i always sort of had a secret crush on him. but then she started hanging out with Mick with her little sister and her best friend and i felt really betrayed, so i stopped telling her about me and Cory since i figured she had better things to do. things started to get awkward, and one day i felt really hurt because i heard that Kaitlyn's best friend had started to "do things" with Mick, and i said some really bad things about her to a mutual friend of Kaitlyn and i. she ended up find out and yelled at me in front of everyone in the lunch room. we haven't talked since. she's had problems since the 7th grade with eating and anxiety and she missed most of 8th grade. she started getting better over the summer and she came back freshman year cuz i convinced her. now she doesn't go to my school anymore. neither does her little sister. i think about her a lot though. i don't know if it's just cause she lives a couple houses down, and my school bus passes her house everyday after school, or it's just cuz we were so close. Kaitlyn is the oldest sibling just like me. she has two younger sisters and two younger brothers. it goes Kaitlyn, Dayna, Mike, Ava, and their new born baby Declyn. he's not so much of a new born anymore though. it's really hard to come up with names for her family members because they are really unique. so i kept Ava and Declyn their original names. i watched Ava become apart of their family early in 6th grade and grow up and Mike get older, and Declyn become part of the family. i really miss all of them. Kaitlyn's mom too! Kaitlyn's mom was the coolest. when i was in my Green Day obsession years (i still would be if they didn't change a whole lot) her mom told me all this cool stuff, and even though i already had researched more about Green Day than she knew, it was still so cool that she knew all that. i felt really cool, really happy that it was like my second little family. and i saw that when Kaitlyn and i grew up and got married to the perfect men, that we'd bring out children over to each other's houses and we'd still be best friends. but we havent talked in over a half a year. we went a whole summer without talking when i let Mick get in between our friendship when him and i first started dating, but we became friends again. we always did. but not this time, i guess. this time it's been half a year.
i know im probably making you think i was closer with Kaitlyn than i was with Nicole, but Nicole and i are like legit sisters almost! she's been there through everything and anything. and she still is! but nows not a good time to explain her. i will another time ^^).
i feel the need to shove in one more thing about me. i love the restaurant Red Robin and they just built one on the mall territory near my town. it opens in the middle of November. Cory's birthday is the 26th of November. and so is Nicole's! they have the same birthday! crazy right?! so we might go there. we had to drive a while away for my 16th birthday, which was in September, because i really wanted to Red Robin but the one here wasn't open, so my mom took Nicole, Cory, and i over there. my little sister Evelyn went to. she's four years younger than me and we don't get along a lot, but she was nice... but still a little annoying. Nicole came home special for my birthday, and later that night was my homecoming dance. so Cory and i went. it was a really good birthday. oh, and as my birthday present i got this really cool laptop that im using to type this! ^^D
sorry this one is so long. the next couple of one's might be because i explain a lot of things you don't know yet.
-anastasiaphilips^^)
Thanks Disney
im in the middle of reading the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky and i kind of sound like Charlie typing this, although this isn't the way i talk. in fact, this book was kind of my final push to make this blog.
two other things that keep me going with this blog are Mitchell Davis's youtube channel: livelavalive, and indie rock music like the bands on the side of this page. and if your too lazy to look over the bands are Noah & the Whale, Aberfeldy (Riley Briggs), and then there are the indie rock bands that focus a little more on the rock like Say Anything.
anyways... as im reading this book, im becoming sadder and sadder, and it wasn't until i forced myself to stop reading at part 4 (ending at about 2:45 am) did i admit to myself why. all these girls in this book, Charlie's sister, his part time girlfriend, even the perfect girl in his eyes (Sam), are all self conscious in invisible ways. well, i wouldn't say invisible, but in ways that they hide very well. and they all depend on boys to make them happy, to fill their little voids of emptiness we feel. and finally when i think theirs a movie thats finally going to give me some answers as to why girls live like this, depressingly depending themselves on poor little horny souls (and i shouldn't say that so broadly cuz maybe 1 out of 1000 boys will be innocent.) ok.. maybe i was being a little generous... but no matter - the movie He's Just Not That Into You directed by Ken Kwapis finally looked like a wake up call for females all around the world. nope! now every girl gets their little exception. well i just think that thats the problem! we all think that a prince charming is what we need. well thanks Disney for teaching us well >.< why can't women just stand on their own? why can't we? we're just dependant variables in this big image of life. (or at least the most of us) i for one can't stand by and be like everyone else, but look at me sitting her on a laptop typing my life away. ^.^
oh, and about that slight stab at Disney, don't get me wrong. my favorite movies are The Lion King, Nightmare Before Christmas, and Anastasia (forget thats my name already? (^^) and i grew up around the rest of those movies. it's just that one my teachers started showing us the movie called The Micky Mouse and it introduced me to how hidden Disney keeps it, but their movies can get pretty prejudice! and i saw some weird video studied by random people that pick out every little thing and it sorta freaked me out. this is what i do when i stay home sick from school! watch youtube videos and learn about things that i randomly think about.
-anastasiaphilips ^^)
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
first blog
I've always wanted to make one of these sites, but i guess i never really sat down and planed one. hasn't anyone ever wanted to be heard, without all the negative attention? and even if so, why has no one done it? this is probably going to be a big fail, but i hope to reach out to all other bloggers, and people, and have them read what i write freely. none of this is copyrighted, all of you are free to read, but i will remind you that i change the names of the people i write about in these little online journals. thank you for reading or fallowing, or whatever the case might be. I'm very excited to keep this site up and interesting for the future readers/subscribers i hope to have. thank you
-anastasiaphilips ^^)
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